Jonathan Haws I’ve been reflecting on something Mel Robbins calls the “Let Them Theory.” At its heart, it’s about taking back the power we often give away when we try to control the choices, actions, or responses of others. Instead of letting their behavior dictate our peace, we “let them” walk their path—and at the same time we “let me” choose to model the life I know to be good and true. We “let them” choose, and then “let me” shine. When we live that way, others can see for themselves how those choices bless our lives. And in time, they may decide to follow the example they’ve witnessed.
As missionaries, this principle has profound meaning. You won’t always see the immediate results of your work. Many people will continue in their ways, and you may wonder if your efforts make any difference. But the truth is, every time you live with joy, kindness, and faith, you are showing what a Christ-centered life looks like. People may not respond in the moment, but they notice. Seeds are planted. Often you are reaping the blessings of missionaries who came before you, and in turn, others will one day reap the fruit of the example you leave behind.
Living this way also means being willing to show your humanity. When you are open about your own struggles and honest about where you fall short, others can see that discipleship isn’t about perfection—it’s about direction. They can think, “If he can keep going, if he can turn to Christ, then so can I.” Vulnerability, offered with humility, becomes a doorway for others to step closer to the Savior.
This reminds me of a favorite passage from Marianne Williamson’s Return to Love:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”
The Savior Himself taught a strikingly similar principle in His Sermon on the Mount:
Matthew 5:14–16 – “Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”
I love that imagery. You are children of God, sent to shine His light in a world that desperately needs it. Every time you live with faith, every time you reflect Christ’s love, you give those around you permission to do the same. That is how lives are changed. That is how the gospel spreads. And that is how you, quietly and steadily, help build the kingdom of God.
All my confidence and love,
Dad
